My 2012 was a rollercoaster of emotions and experiences, it was a year of growing up, of growing used to, of making bigger and more important decisions in life. I would be honest and say that I still feel very much like a lost lamb, and I am still having doubts about whether the decisions and choices I make now, and before, would lead me to the life I imagine thirty years into the future. How many people can say that their lives are exactly what they thought it would be like a year before? Three years ago, I was so sure of what I would be getting after graduating from polytechnic, and this is definitely not it. I would not say I regret this path I'm led onto, it gave me so much, I learnt so much and I think that's something to be thankful for, even though it pales in comparison to the much more exciting one I wanted. But no, 2012 was a good year. Though there were many things I wish I could have changed, it was amazing nonetheless.
So this is Chapter Twenty, my twentieth year of life, summarized in significant events/things.
1. Went clubbing for the first time with my coursemates!
2. Revealed a secret.
3. Got my second Certificate of Merit!
4. Remained endlessly close to my loved ones.
5. Went to Phuket with the best travelling buddies. Wolfpack! \m/
6. Gardens by the Bay!
8. Bade farewell to some of the most important (and fun) people in my life.
9. Grew up
10. Lost a significant amount of weight and gained it back by getting a toner, fitter body!
11. Had lovely picnics
12. Had the fairytale-ish time of my life at USS, and sprained my neck on a rollercoaster.
13. Never lost contact with the people who are worth it
14. Harry Potter Exhibition!
15. Ran away from home for over two weeks.
16. Turmoils of being an armyboy's girlfriend.
17. And the friends who stuck by me through those tough times
18. Kenny's POP.
19. Went on a crazy shopping trip with my gorgeous mama!
20. Worked with a marine company which has the most brilliant view of the sea ever. Worked for an airline and...
Got the most enriching job in school.
21. Made big decisions
22. Went to the Zoo!
23. Kenny met my family for the first time during mama's birthday dinner.
24. Had a brilliant birthday with the ones who love me unconditionally
25.Bree-bree Christmas!
16. Went dragonboating/ kayaking/ surfing!
27. Renewed old friendships.
28. Became a huge food junkie, and started baking again!
29. Learnt to go exploring (safely!) on my own.
30. Took drawing and writing to greater places. I feel happy to look at my beautiful walls everyday.
And I'm proud of my self-designed shirts and bag!
(-):
Moving to a new house again
Losing track of time
Missing my university application dates (!!)
Fearing the unknown
Fell in and out of love
Got into some drama with childish people
Not standing up for myself
Forgoing my own feelings for the sake of others
Wasted a lot of time
Bearing grudges I shouldn't have
Crashed an ATV in Phuket (repeatedly).
Had a bad clubbing experience
Grew lazy
Hated working and feeling like a bum
March 28th, 8.34pm.
April 16th
Graduating and being away from the people I love, and the environment I was familiar with
Not being adaptable in the beginning
Being unsure of what I wanted
Being mindful of what people say
Letting my English go down the dumps
Finding out how crazy, scheming and lacking of self-respect some girls can be
Losing too much weight
Wanting to beat someone up (hahahahaha) and being pretty sure I would win
Nightmares and insomnia.
Tough nights alone
Learning to be alone and learning to be strong
Losing the person I was
Meeting perverts and mean people
Wishing that the world indeed would end
(+):
Going public with my relationship with Kenny
Falling in love with my new house
Turquoise/blue/orange walls and walk-in wardrobes
Karma
Trips to the museum with Kenny
Adventures; Swimming, wildwildwet, picnics, making pancakes
Sunsets
To be happy and empathetic
Taking too many photos
Loving my friends, even when we're always apart
Being thankful for the love I receive
Having patience, faith and tolerance at testing times
Learning to be contented with happy simple things
To look forward to the future and focus on the present
My hair started to grow longer!
Being more sociable
Knowing more people who likes me even when I'm weird
Taking a break and drinking in the beauty of life
Exploring!
Drew and write a lot more than I used to
Finding the girl I used to be
Listening to good music
Losing weight and feeling so much better and prouder of myself
Being fearless and taking leap of faith
Pursuing impossible and sometimes intimidating dreams
To be a bigger person instead of choking some bitch to death
Dreaming bigger
Saying yes
Training a pretty decent body
Learning that just because someone does not love you the way you wish them to, it doesn't mean that they don't love you at all. Or that they aren't loving you to the best of their capacity
Receiving love and returning it
Being childish and having the best kind of fun with the best people
Clocking 42minutes for a 6.4km run.
Holding on to people who are important
Being closer to my family, more than ever
Being more approachable
Being Miss Efficienct at every job I have!
Performing in public
Learning to be less shy
To be brave and to put trust and faith in others
I hope that in 2013, I would be able to:
Stop meeting horrible/annoying/disgusting people
That people would care to know me before they judge me
Be blessed with a happier relationship with Kenny
For us to work out better
To be able to get the things I want
To achieve my dreams
To always be tolerating of others, even at the expense of myself
To stop watching scary show that makes me lose sleep (or try to watch lesser)
To stop being a pushover and learn that sometimes the only way for people to stop being such pricks/bitches, is to really just punch them in their face or at least try to
To always be able to keep those in my heart close to me
To keep my friends, and gain more who matter
Read, write, draw, inspire
Do finally be able to embark on my adventures
To fly with my own wings
To learn, to make mistakes, to learn more
To let go
To always be this close with my family and loved ones
To be able to have more time with my friends
To be less of a perfectionist
Overcome my fear, and get a license
Be hot
To be able to do more watersports
Go overseas at least two times
To discover more happy things
To be less honest because some people do not understand
Not to care about what people wish to say of me as long as my conscience is clear
When people are mean to you, it doesn't mean that you deserve it. Sometimes, they are just jealous
To stop blaming myself
To cut lose the strings and people who bring me down
I hope your 2012 has been as fulfilling and good as mine has been. I've learnt that sometimes, the biggest surprises await you when you finally gather the courage to chase the dreams you never dared to pursue. Sometimes we find happiness in the littlest and oddest of things. The most important lesson I've learnt is that, we need to stop being afraid. Fear would get us nowhere. And it's better to fear the unknown after you've taken a path you're scared of, than to choose the one you do not want and be constantly looking back at what could have been. Trust that your capabilities, your strength and your courage would be able to get you through whatever stands in your way. Good things wouldn't come to you when you choose to be safe and stay where you are, because change is constant, life goes on without you, and remaining at the exact spot where you were wouldn't bring you anywhere. The unknown is threatening, it's intimidating and it's... Well, unknown. But trust me, everyone is different and you are strong in your own way. Maybe not now, but one day you would be. And one day, you would accomplish the things you never dreamed of doing. One day, what you are capable of would be so much more than you think of yourself. Have faith, be brave.
(-):
Moving to a new house again
Losing track of time
Missing my university application dates (!!)
Fearing the unknown
Fell in and out of love
Got into some drama with childish people
Not standing up for myself
Forgoing my own feelings for the sake of others
Wasted a lot of time
Bearing grudges I shouldn't have
Crashed an ATV in Phuket (repeatedly).
Had a bad clubbing experience
Grew lazy
Hated working and feeling like a bum
March 28th, 8.34pm.
April 16th
Graduating and being away from the people I love, and the environment I was familiar with
Not being adaptable in the beginning
Being unsure of what I wanted
Being mindful of what people say
Letting my English go down the dumps
Finding out how crazy, scheming and lacking of self-respect some girls can be
Losing too much weight
Wanting to beat someone up (hahahahaha) and being pretty sure I would win
Nightmares and insomnia.
Tough nights alone
Learning to be alone and learning to be strong
Losing the person I was
Meeting perverts and mean people
Wishing that the world indeed would end
(+):
Going public with my relationship with Kenny
Falling in love with my new house
Turquoise/blue/orange walls and walk-in wardrobes
Karma
Trips to the museum with Kenny
Adventures; Swimming, wildwildwet, picnics, making pancakes
Sunsets
To be happy and empathetic
Taking too many photos
Loving my friends, even when we're always apart
Being thankful for the love I receive
Having patience, faith and tolerance at testing times
Learning to be contented with happy simple things
To look forward to the future and focus on the present
My hair started to grow longer!
Being more sociable
Knowing more people who likes me even when I'm weird
Taking a break and drinking in the beauty of life
Exploring!
Drew and write a lot more than I used to
Finding the girl I used to be
Listening to good music
Losing weight and feeling so much better and prouder of myself
Being fearless and taking leap of faith
Pursuing impossible and sometimes intimidating dreams
To be a bigger person instead of choking some bitch to death
Dreaming bigger
Saying yes
Training a pretty decent body
Learning that just because someone does not love you the way you wish them to, it doesn't mean that they don't love you at all. Or that they aren't loving you to the best of their capacity
Receiving love and returning it
Being childish and having the best kind of fun with the best people
Clocking 42minutes for a 6.4km run.
Holding on to people who are important
Being closer to my family, more than ever
Being more approachable
Being Miss Efficienct at every job I have!
Performing in public
Learning to be less shy
To be brave and to put trust and faith in others
I hope that in 2013, I would be able to:
Stop meeting horrible/annoying/disgusting people
That people would care to know me before they judge me
Be blessed with a happier relationship with Kenny
For us to work out better
To be able to get the things I want
To achieve my dreams
To always be tolerating of others, even at the expense of myself
To stop watching scary show that makes me lose sleep (or try to watch lesser)
To stop being a pushover and learn that sometimes the only way for people to stop being such pricks/bitches, is to really just punch them in their face or at least try to
To always be able to keep those in my heart close to me
To keep my friends, and gain more who matter
Read, write, draw, inspire
Do finally be able to embark on my adventures
To fly with my own wings
To learn, to make mistakes, to learn more
To let go
To always be this close with my family and loved ones
To be able to have more time with my friends
To be less of a perfectionist
Overcome my fear, and get a license
Be hot
To be able to do more watersports
Go overseas at least two times
To discover more happy things
To be less honest because some people do not understand
Not to care about what people wish to say of me as long as my conscience is clear
When people are mean to you, it doesn't mean that you deserve it. Sometimes, they are just jealous
To stop blaming myself
To cut lose the strings and people who bring me down
I hope your 2012 has been as fulfilling and good as mine has been. I've learnt that sometimes, the biggest surprises await you when you finally gather the courage to chase the dreams you never dared to pursue. Sometimes we find happiness in the littlest and oddest of things. The most important lesson I've learnt is that, we need to stop being afraid. Fear would get us nowhere. And it's better to fear the unknown after you've taken a path you're scared of, than to choose the one you do not want and be constantly looking back at what could have been. Trust that your capabilities, your strength and your courage would be able to get you through whatever stands in your way. Good things wouldn't come to you when you choose to be safe and stay where you are, because change is constant, life goes on without you, and remaining at the exact spot where you were wouldn't bring you anywhere. The unknown is threatening, it's intimidating and it's... Well, unknown. But trust me, everyone is different and you are strong in your own way. Maybe not now, but one day you would be. And one day, you would accomplish the things you never dreamed of doing. One day, what you are capable of would be so much more than you think of yourself. Have faith, be brave.
