Used to

Hello there! So much has happened during the past two or three weeks. In fact, I would say that the time that I spent while I disappeared from here is probably the most significant of my entire year so far. Time passes so quickly, it feels like just yesterday that school started but in fact an entire month and more has already gone by. One more week of school, followed by study break and exams and that’s it, my polytechnic life would be over. Anyway, back to what I was saying. I haven’t had time to post decent updates here because of schoolwork and deadlines that we’re expected to meet. But now that it’s over, I don’t really have the drive to continue blogging anyway because there’s so much I missed out and I would really really love to talk about all that, but I honestly don’t know where to start. But if people would be happy seeing bits and pieces of my life posted here all jumbled up, here goes…

I had my first clubbing experience ever! One of our tutors actually planned an event for us at MBS, we were all pretty psyched. The view up there was magnificent, I was contented just spending hours there trying to pick our familiar buildings and hopefully allow my eyes to forever immortalize the beautiful sight.

 

 

There was a lot of miscommunication though and some of us didn’t want to wait around with nothing to do, so we ended up going to Rebel/Zirca instead.

One heck of an interesting night, even though I disappeared and sat alone at a corner for more than half the time.

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There was this one day at school when I broke down and started crying. Hahahaha okay I want to laugh at myself when I think back but yea I was really stressed out about some things and my three weeks worth of work on a project screwed up, so I had to start from scratch all over again. That was the final straw, so I started crying in the midst of labwork so silly silly silly. Afterwards I was still feeling like crap and I felt like not a single person understands how it’s like to be me. It felt really bad and I was so filled with rage and disappointment, felt so badly like taking it out on a punching bag. I was feeling so miserable, I thought I might kill someone. Well anyway, because I can’t do things like that, I had some time all alone to myself. It was a pretty stupid idea in the beginning because I don’t really like being alone so it made me feel worse, but a certain repeated playlist on my ipod and some beautiful sights made me so much better. 

 

I swear, it felt like the angry monster inside of me just hit the snooze button and went to sleep. Hopefully forever though. Well anyway, I managed to draw something decent so I was rather contented.

I was also lucky enough to catch some fireworks, and it was by chance, lucky me! I’ll always have this insane obsession for fireworks, don’t care where or when. If I could, I want to catch every single firework display in Singapore possible but then things don’t always work out the way I want it.

Anyway, on the 7th, I had one of the nicest surprises ever in a very long time. L CAME BACK FROM NETHERLANDS. That sneaky girl actually ganged up with J to surprise me in school. She told me she would only be back on the 11th, so imagine the shock I had when J told me she needed a heart-to-heart talk badly, then when we went somewhere private, BAM there Lennie was! ♥♥♥♥ We caught up and talked nonstop for two hours about so many things. I miss them so much, can’t wait for the next sleepover!

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Another really awesome thing that happened was the love in class recently. No, I’m not talking about big big lurve-ing, but the time that I’ve been spending with my classmates recently. I’m not really a huge fan of being in class because it makes me so painfully aware of human beings and their continuous thirst and need for recognition, even at the sake of their peers’ feelings. That royally sucks because I honestly can swear that I’d rather have mediocre average results than to treat people like shit when they don’t deserve it. I rather have fun being grouped together with some effing awesome people who gets the job done and knows how to have fun, than to be with “geniuses” who guarantee me a skyhigh grade but leave me miserable and complaining incessantly. Which is pretty much why I’ve always stuck around with this certain group of people I’ve came to love in these three years. Well anyway, recently I’ve come to discover that our small group of people has actually merged and combined until we’re a much bigger group now, even though we don’t have silly little gatherings and dinners like most people do, but yes I’m still happy.

On the 9th, I had one of the best meals ever with some of the best people ever. Rebby, Iffah, Persis, Yk, Philo, Weihao, Ivan and I skipped our lectures for sushi buffet at downtown east! ♥ We were disappointed because Hei Sushi only starts their buffet at 3pm and it was only 11+ and our stomachs were all prepped up for some sashimi lurving. Thankful that there was Sakura nearby though, so our cravings were still sated. I laughed so much that day, I thought I might die from choking on sushi. The amount I ate definitely wasn’t worth the price of the buffet but the company sure was. We now have a pregnant fish boy, salmon boy, anything-also-can boy and a prawnstar/silent killer in our midst. I’m so happy that the last few days of poly is ending this way, with this amazing group of people ♥

   

Not to forget, the best thing right now is ALL OUR DEADLINES ARE FINALLY OVER. Bidding my final farewells to presentations, formal wear, and projects yippee ya yay :D

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I also took part in the interclass Captain Ball competition on Friday with my classmates and it rocked. Never mind that we didn’t emerge victors, but that’s a buttload of fun I’ll never ever be able to have without them. We got wayyyyyy too excited whatsapping each other in the late night before the match (We called ourselves the exterminators hahahahahahaha), and we even had a basketball game with fellow year3s before the games began. It felt so good to exercise and be under the hot sun sweating it out. Soccer, basketball, captain’s ball all in a day, what else can I ask for? :)

Came back home to realize how ridiculous I look with my sunburns. I was beetroot red and so exhausted, even more exhausted than going to school from 8am till 4pm with only three hours of sleep. So yes this is pretty much everything interesting that has happened recently! :)


I was just browsing through some old photos today and I realized how different I look right now as compared to two years ago. Good changes though, I hope :)
I think it would be really awesome if people were able to read other people’s intentions, wants and needs. There will be no need for waiting around, no need for secrets, no need for guessing games. Some people think it’s only as simple as speaking up, fighting for the things you want and asking for them. If you really put it that way, it’ll be really easy especially if you’re so at ease around someone that secrets and boundaries don’t exist, and these requests are as light as passing remarks. You needn’t be shy, or have second thoughts, or rehearse and stay awake at night thinking about the words you are going to say. Then you actually tell yourself that this is it, I’m going to say what I’ve been wanting to for so long. But when you actually do see that face, it’s like the words previously imprinted on your mind, words you’ve practiced so hard you can recite them while you’re half-asleep, they all fade away. All because you think that it’s okay, why bother about my thoughts when what I have now is perfect. But what would I know about that? Maybe what I’m doing, what I am, isn’t what people is asking for anyway.