Para-para-paradise

Another photo from Christmas Eve’s dinner :)
My body’s aching all over because I went to the gym yesterday. It’s been ages since I last exercised (fyi, that was the hockey competition period). Went back to school to get my shoes and I nearly couldn’t get in because it was a public holiday but I exchanged my IC and ezlink card with the security guard and promised to run back asap, thank god.

I timed my 2.4km run and finished it within 14 minutes and 7 seconds, but that’s only if I maintain constant running and a few minutes of slow jogging. My doctor told me to excuse myself from my 2.4km and shuttle run because of the dislocated ankle but I really don’t want to. I’m worried sick about my physical fitness test and I know that people say that it’s okay to fail since it doesn’t mean anything for girls. I know it seems silly but it actually means more than just a test I have to take to get my graduation testimonial. It’ll be pretty ironic if a hockey player fails her physical test right. Besides, it’s significant because it would mean that I’m fighting my monsters, dislocated ankle and anemia, and winning. I hate the thought of my physical inabilities robbing me of the chance to be better, and I really want to fight all that bad.

But no matter how I am so determined to do so, I still have to admit defeat, have to admit that the pain is real. It’s no longer imaginary or psychological, like how I would fear my calves muscles tearing and feeling the pain even when it was no longer present. I felt my ankle give way and start being wobbly barely 1km on the treadmill, which is easy as compared to real outdoor conditions. I was fighting and focusing harder to keep my balance than to pace myself while running. After the 3.3km run yesterday, my ankle was hurting so bad I couldn’t even stand for long while showering in the toilet. Every step, or everytime that I lean my weight towards my left, I fear that my bones would just shift and dislocate all over again. The aching abs and arms from the planks and core exercises didn’t help either. I hate that so much, I feel so weak and helpless. I don’t know if I should listen to my doctor, or to screw it and run because I want so badly to prove myself wrong.

Lunch with Deon and Kenny cheered me up quite a bit though. Original plan was to go home and meet later to watch Liverpool’s match at Ming’s, but they were called down for some last minute street soccer at Simei and I went along to watch. It was pretty exciting and funny because of some disputes. Deon drove us to Ming’s after and I was so knackered that I fell asleep halfway and only woke up an hour later. They took a photo of me while I’m sleeping and tried posting it online, and apparently even then I didn’t wake up when the camera’s flash went off directly in my face.

Simpang for supper after that before we all went back home and knocked out. I woke up feeling like an old lady because of the creaky bones, plus I couldn’t even sit up at all HAD TO ROLL WHAT A JOKE. Hey, but all that’s okay because I weighed myself and I’m so much lighter than I expected hehehehe :B I WANT TO BE SKINNY, I DON’T WANT TO BE A FATASS!